It’s definitely hard on family life when a father (or either parent) travels for his job. Not only can he miss birthdays, holidays, and special events ─ like Scout ceremonies or dance recitals ─ but his departure disrupts the normalcy of a functioning household routine. Of course, business trips are likely not a picnic for him, either. Chances are he hates being away and coming home with a feeling that he’s missed out on important moments with his spouse and children.

Whether daddy is gone on a weekly basis or only leaves for the occasional business trip, you can still make parenting — and your marriage — work! Try these strategies to create a happy union between work and life:

ROUTINE

• Mom ─ Try to maintain the routines that are in place, such as dinnertime, bedtime, etc. Of course, if you want to let the kids watch a little more TV than usual while you snuggle up to them and read a good book, go for it! It’s challenging to temporarily be the equivalent of a single parent, and you may need to break the rules every now and then.
• Dad ─ If you know the kids go to bed promptly at 8:30 p.m. and you’re stuck in an evening meeting, try to sneak out for a brief phone call to wish your little ones sweet dreams. Your family (wife included) will sleep more soundly after hearing your voice and knowing you miss them.

MAKE IT FUN

• Mom ─ Consider having a slumber party in the living room, trying a restaurant where you can eat and play, or head to the park to burn off some energy. Maybe it’s a good time to head to grandma’s house for a mini-vacation or change of scenery.
• Dad ─ Try to send postcards or a special note every time you travel. Or find coloring sheets and crafts of favorite characters online and email them to your children.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

• Mom ─ Don’t let the kids get away with things just because dad’s not there. Sometimes kids will gripe about their dad’s job or the fact that he’s gone; remind them that without his hard work, they would not be able to partake in gymnastics lessons, have their own room, and enjoy other special things they take for granted.
• Dad ─ Demonstrate love and respect toward your wife and children by honoring the routine (as noted above).

COMMUNICATION

• Mom ─ Communicate every day to keep dad in the loop because we all know things change fast when you’re a parent. Take advantage of technology like Skype, email, texting, or all of the above!
• Dad ─ Share the “boring” details of your day. Kids are actually interested in what daddy had for breakfast, what kind of car he rented, and so on.

INFORMATION, PLEASE

• Mom ─ Put a calendar in the kids’ room so they know when dad leaves and returns. Young children will have fun with a paper chain countdown like they make at Christmastime. Older kids can keep a journal and take digital pictures or videos to share with dad upon his arrival home.
• Dad ─ Be sure to provide your wife with flight and hotel information, phone numbers of traveling mates (in case of an emergency), and your schedule of events.

KEEP IT CLEAN-ISH

• Mom ─ Some (um, most) moms choose to let the house go all week, then do a freakishly fast pick-up job the day dad’s due to return. Others prefer to tidy up daily. Since you likely have added tasks in his absence, go easy on yourself when possible; for example, use paper plates to limit the amount of duty dishes and opt for quick and easy menus.
• Dad ─ Go easy as ‘clean house inspector’ when you get home or you’ll start off on the wrong foot with your family. Don’t forget they’ve been busy adjusting to you being gone, and acting Martha Stewart-like probably was not their number one priority.

IF YOU’RE GOING CRAZY

• Mom ─ Depending on what makes you happy, either get out of the house or have someone over who can give you some help or simply serve as a listening ear. Checking in with other moms at places like  CafeMom.com and  Mothering.com can also help your sanity.
• Dad ─ Remind your wife that it’s okay to hire a sitter and get out of the house for an hour (or more)! Perhaps contact family and friends nearby to have them check in on your family via email or phone.

A COUPLE MORE IDEAS

• Mom ─ If you are able to, try traveling with your spouse occasionally. During summer months, especially if the work destination is accessible via road trip, the whole family can be in the same city. While dad’s at business meetings, the family can enjoy the hotel pool and explore local attractions.
• Dad ─ Since each member of the family has missed you, try to work in some one-on-one bonding time to catch up with individual loved ones. Finally, Mom ─ Though it can be hard to let the reins go a bit, try to give up a little control when your hubby comes home. You’ve been in charge, and now it’s time to ease back into working together again as co-parents, which in turn, will ease your stress.

Book Suggestions for Traveling Parents

• The Business Traveling Parent by Dan Verdick and Scott Pollack
• When Daddy Travels by Harriet Ziefert and Emily Bolam
• When Mommy Travels by Harriet Ziefert and Emily Bolam