After a year in which he turned 30, got married and starred in two of the world’s biggest movies, Tom Holland is excited for what’s next.

Few actors reach 30 with two of the biggest films in the world arriving within weeks of each other. Fewer still do it while quietly getting married, launching a successful business, supporting charities and somehow remaining one of Hollywood’s most grounded stars.

For Tom Holland, though, life has never quite followed the expected path. Fresh off a memorable summer in which Spider-Man returned to cinemas and Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey opened another chapter in his career, we caught up with the British actor to talk about growing up in public, marriage, stunt work, life away from the cameras and why he’s more excited about the future than ever.

You just turned 30 and it’s been a huge year personally and professionally. Does it actually feel different?

It does, although probably not in the dramatic way people expect. I haven’t suddenly woken up and thought, ‘Right, I’m a grown-up now.’ I still forget where I’ve put my keys, I’m still late because I’ve convinced myself I can leave five minutes later than I actually should and somehow still make it on time, and I still ring my mum asking where something is!

What has changed is that I’ve become a little better at appreciating things while they’re happening. When I was younger I was always chasing the next job. I’d finish one film and immediately worry whether I’d ever work again. That’s quite a strange mindset when you’re fortunate enough to be doing the job you love. 

Now I try to enjoy the process a bit more. Whether it’s making a film or just chilling at home, I’m much better at recognizing those moments while I’m living them instead of only appreciating them afterwards.

You and Zendaya have managed to keep your relationship remarkably private despite enormous public interest. Has that become easier with time?

I don’t know if it becomes easier, but you become more comfortable with your boundaries. There are parts of your life that belong to everyone because of the job, and then there are parts that should just belong to you.

We’ve always tried to protect the things that genuinely matter because they’re real. They’re not part of a press tour or a social media post. They’re our lives.

People are naturally curious and I completely understand that because I’ve grown up being fascinated by actors too. But I think there’s something healthy about keeping certain moments between the people who actually lived them. Those memories become even more valuable because they’re yours.

Marriage is obviously a huge milestone. Has it changed anything day to day?

Not in the fairy-tale way films sometimes make out. We didn’t suddenly become different people overnight.

What I think marriage does is reinforce what people already know, when they know they are a brilliant team. 

We celebrate each other’s successes, but we also understand the difficult days that nobody else really sees.

The funny thing is that our conversations at home are often incredibly ordinary. We’ll spend all day talking about films during interviews and then get home and discuss what we’re having for dinner or whose turn it is to walk the dogs.

Spider-Man has been part of your life for almost a decade now. Returning for Brand New Day, did Peter Parker feel familiar or did you discover new things about him?

A bit of both, actually. Walking back onto set in the suit always feels like seeing an old friend. The strange thing is that every time you think you know everything about Peter, life changes you a little and suddenly you understand him differently.

One thing I never want to lose is his humanity. People come for the spectacle—and rightly so because the action is incredible—but what makes Spider-Man special is that underneath the suit he’s just a kid trying to make the right decisions. He’s awkward, he doubts himself, he gets things wrong. That’s always been the version I love playing.

I love that level of humanity in the new movie. He is really conflicted about the past and it shows.

People assume these films are almost entirely green screens and CGI. Is that still a misconception?

Completely. The visual effects artists deserve every award going because they’re basically magicians, but we still do an enormous amount practically. You’ll spend hours learning a sequence that might only last 30 seconds on screen.

Sometimes you’ll be hanging from a wire 20 feet in the air thinking, ‘This looked a lot easier when the stunt coordinator demonstrated it.’ Then you’ll do it again. And again. And again because the camera needs to be six inches further to the left.

There’s also a lot that looks ridiculous while you’re filming. You might be sprinting full speed across a rooftop before suddenly pretending an invisible monster has appeared, throwing yourself sideways onto a crash mat and shouting at absolutely nothing. If anyone wandered onto set without context they’d think we’d completely lost our minds [laughs].

You’ve always been keen to perform as many of your own stunts as possible. Has that enthusiasm ever got you into trouble?

More times than I’d like to admit! I genuinely love the physical side of the job because that’s where my dance background comes in handy. Billy Elliot taught me discipline long before it taught me anything about acting, but there’s definitely a balance. Earlier in my career I probably thought I was indestructible. I’d be saying, ‘Yeah, I can do that,’ before I’d even heard what ‘that’ actually was. Now I’m a little wiser. The stunt team are phenomenal and they’ve devoted their lives to doing this safely. If they tell me something isn’t worth the risk, I listen.

That said, there are still days when you finish filming absolutely exhausted and covered in bruises, but it’s a satisfying kind of tired because you know everyone has worked incredibly hard to make something audiences will hopefully love.

Spider-Man has often been the youngest person in the room during Avengers films. Does Peter feel different now as he’s maturing?

I think he does. Age isn’t really the important thing anymore; experience is. Peter’s been through an awful lot. He’s carried huge responsibilities on his own and lived with the consequences of decisions that completely changed his life.

So when he walks into those situations now, there’s a little more confidence. Not arrogance—Peter’s never arrogant—but confidence. He’s learned to trust his instincts more. 

I enjoyed playing that because it’s a natural progression. You can’t keep pretending he’s the same teenager forever. He’s still got the humor and the awkwardness, but underneath that there’s someone who’s grown into the responsibility of being Spider-Man.

Although we still don’t know for sure if Spider-Man will be appearing in the upcoming Avengers: Doomsday, why are you excited for fans to see another Avengers movie?

Aside from the obvious bulldozer-load of action, it’s the relationships. People always ask about the action because the action is incredible, but these films only work if you care about the people involved.

One of the nicest things about making an Avengers film is seeing characters who wouldn’t normally cross paths suddenly sharing scenes together. As a fan of Marvel myself, those are the moments I get excited about.

That’s always been the magic of these crossover films. They’re obviously huge spectacles, but underneath they’re really stories about people trying to work together despite having completely different backgrounds and ways of seeing the world.

Marvel films have become famous for keeping secrets. Is that difficult as an actor, or is it a responsibility you take seriously?

[Doomsday is] probably the most careful they’ve ever been, and with good reason. Fans invest so much in these stories that you really don’t want to spoil those surprises.

The experience of sitting in a cinema and genuinely not knowing what’s about to happen is quite rare these days because we’re all so connected online. If keeping quiet for a few months means audiences get to have those moments together, then it’s absolutely worth it.

The only thing I can liken it to is when three Spider-Men appeared in No Way Home. That was such a huge moment and the disbelief was very cool.

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey was also a massive film. What surprised you about working with him?

The preparation. I’d obviously heard stories about Chris and how meticulous he is, but seeing it firsthand was fascinating. Nothing happens by accident. Every conversation, every rehearsal and every camera movement has purpose.

He’s also remarkably calm. Considering the scale of what he’s making, you’d expect this frantic atmosphere, but it isn’t like that at all. The set feels incredibly focused because everyone knows exactly what they’re trying to achieve.

As an actor that’s really reassuring because you’re free to concentrate on the performance rather than wondering whether you’re on the right track. You realize very quickly why people desperately want to work with him again.

When you look ahead now, do you think more about the kinds of films you want to make rather than simply making as many as possible?

Without question. When I was starting out I wanted every opportunity because I loved acting so much.

Now I’m fortunate enough to be a little more selective. I still love huge blockbuster films because they’re enormous fun, but I’m also really interested in finding stories that challenge me or frighten me a little.

If a role feels completely comfortable, it’s probably not pushing me enough.

Finally, if you could speak to the 12-year-old boy about to walk on stage in Billy Elliot, what would you tell him?

I’d probably tell him to relax a bit.

He spent so much time worrying about getting everything perfect that he occasionally forgot to enjoy what was happening. I’d tell him that there will be disappointments, awkward moments and jobs that don’t work out exactly as planned, but there will also be experiences beyond anything he could possibly imagine.

Most importantly, I’d tell him not to lose the excitement. I still feel incredibly lucky every time I walk onto a film set. If that feeling ever disappeared, I’d know it was time to do something else. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened yet, and I honestly don’t think it’s going to anytime soon.